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I've got this thing that I consider my only art of fucking people over [entries|friends|calendar]
A love that defeats all odds..

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I found someone to carry me home tonight [25 Apr 2012|08:54pm]
[ mood | grateful ]

I want someone who isn't afraid to say how they feel.
Good or bad.
Understand love isn't always rainbows and butterflies,
But still loves me regardless.
Who isn't afraid to tell me why they're pissed, or all the reasons they love me.
Admit when they're wrong.
And apologize for it, because I'm not always right either.
Accept I'm a stubborn bitch,
Regardless of all my flaws, see me as perfect in their eyes.

check the details

[ mood | distressed ]

WHY! Why do I love you so much?
Why is my last thought before I goto bed, and first thought when I wake up, always of you.
Why do I waste so much energy on you.
I don't understand why you mean so much to me.
I just don't fucking get it.
I hate you so much.
Because I can't stop feeling for you, loving you, thinking about you, seeing you, in everything I look at, every song I hear.
And you want to be friends?
This is by far the worst feeling I've ever felt.
I thought my depression was bad.
But this. This tops the cherry on my cake.
I'm so torn between giving it all up.

TRYING to suck it up and be friends, because I don't feel like I can lose you.
or letting it all go. Because it hurts too much to know we're just 'friends' 
Either way. It's a fucking limbo.
And I'm not emotionally stable enough to handle it.
Even with the prozac.
I'm a wreck.....

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Writer's Block: Toys in the attic [02 Apr 2011|04:42am]
Did you have a favorite toy as a child that you took with you everywhere? If so, what was it and what happened to it?

My purring cat.  They had some kind of name.
I made that thing velveteen rabbit real.
It had a balloon in it's belly.
My sister one day stomped on it and broke it.
My daughter has it now.  Infact, she has all of my toys and stuffed animals that were lucky enough to make it through this long.
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Wanna play games? Buy a Playstation. [02 Apr 2011|04:34am]
[ mood | blank ]

I think I just like to remind myself occasionally,
Why it is I really don't like, or do, relationships.
I push the limit.
I keep going, ignoring the bad feelings.
The gut, 'motherly instincts'.
Just to be re-reminded.
Is it some kind of rush for me?
To know mankind is really as fucked up as I believe.
So I know I'm not delusional..crazy...
I don't know.

I know I'm hoping someone will be different.
Someone will be that special person.
Deep down inside.
There's a part of me that still has hope.

And I damn that part of me to hell.
Why must I keep searching for the buried treasure. 
I'm like a kid trying to dig to China.
Stubborn. & Persistent.
You know it's impossible, but you have got to try anyway...
And not only try.
Spend days, maybe even weeks on the dig. 
Hoping 'maybe!'
"Maybe I'll actually get there!"
No, Veronica.  You'll never dig to China.
There's no fanta-fictional man out there.
Stop digging.

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Writer's Block: Soul together [02 Apr 2011|04:26am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

If you could have the ability to hear everything your best friend or romantic partner was thinking, but you couldn't switch it off (or tell them), would you want it?

My paranoid bitch ass?  Yes I would.  But that doesn't mean they'd be my romantic partner or best friend for long...maybe I just have little faith in people.
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"Don't worry what they tell themselves when you're away" [23 Mar 2011|11:36am]
[ mood | calm ]

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/TwbryjqQY0I" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

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Writer's Block: Roamin' [17 Mar 2011|02:27am]
[ mood | drained ]

If you were going on a week-long vacation to a tropical paradise and could only take five items, what would you bring?

TWO pillows..because pillows are a necessity.
Music. I don't care what it's being listened to on, MP3 player, Ipod, laptop, CD, even a fcking casset player will do. But I need music.
That's 3?
A pencil and notebook.

I could write, I could doodle, I could draw.
Everything I could possibly need.
Sleep, venting, harmony....love.
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A bath did the trick. [12 Mar 2011|06:31am]
[ mood | silly ]

I think I turned into a damn fish overnight.
Ive been up maybe 3 hours, and already started on my 3rd bottle of water.
That's 96 oz of water. wthe fuck is that about?

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Epitomy of Hypocracracy. [12 Mar 2011|03:33am]
[ mood | amused ]

To Bacon and pot hole:
The thing that gets me most with you two:
You claim to say you're blunt and if you have a problem you'll say it.
Well here's the thing.
You have a problem with me.
Along with 95% of the rest of the store, and i don't hear you expressing your concerns anytime now do I?
The difference between you and i?
If I have a problem with people?
I can only keep that problem bottled up for so long,
especially if thier ignorant dumb asses such as yourselves.
Yea, I may sound like a teenager right now, but the quotation
"I have a problem with you because you called my best friend stupid" at the age of 31 sounds more immature than a teenager that's gradeschooler.
I'm sorry...but isn't China being a country in Asia something we learn in grade school? You're stupid if you dont know that at the age of 18.
Well. Back to our differences.
You claim to be blunt and tell people off?
Lying ugly whores.
Yet, I tell you off.
And still yet I'm nicer, and people like me more.
Is that why you hate me so much?
Because your faces look like fried bacon and everyone secretly or knowingly hates you and likes me? and I'm still pretty?
I don't blame you.
You two live shitty, shitty lives.
You can't make bows, as much as you wear the ones I've made you pretending (WISHING) you made them.
Because you wear things from people you 'hate' all the time. that makes complete and utter sense. go you!
As much as People love you.
No they don't. So many people. Employees &&&& customers talk soooo much shit about you I laugh so hard I should wear depends at work.
Your lives are SOOOOOOOOOOOO shitty.....
That people in africa and drug addicts should give their hard earned cash to you!
For real.
No joke hear.
Stop fucking playing games.
Start donating.

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10 things I couldn't live without and make my life...mine. [28 Feb 2011|11:39am]
[ mood | creative ]

1. anything pertaining to my daughter.

2. My bed and sleeping.

3. My cats.

4. My family.

5. My friends.


7. Music.

8. Cuddling and Snuggling.

9. Hot baths.

10. Making bows.

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Whoot! [03 Jul 2009|12:22pm]
[ mood | stoked ]

Tuesday, September 8th

Melrose Place 9pm

Thursday, September 10th

Supernatural 9pm

Thursday, September 17th

The Office 9pm

Monday, September 21st

Heroes 8pm

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Songs [21 May 2009|04:00am]
Martina McBride-Valentine
Des'ree-Kissing You
Martina McBride-In My daughter's eyes
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what?! [28 Apr 2009|03:32am]

<div style="width: 445px;"><div style="height: 321px;"><object width="445px" height="321px"><param name="movie" value="http://content.oddcast.com/host/babymaker/swf/workshop_295_msPlayer.swf?doorId=295&clientId=164&mId=30013481.1&ds=http%3A%2F%2Fhost-d.oddcast.com" /><param name="BASE" value="host-d.oddcast.com" /><param name="quality" value="high" /><param name="salign" value="t" /><param name="scale" value="noborder" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed allowscriptaccess="never" allownetworking="internal" name="hostMov" swliveconnect="true" src="http://content.oddcast.com/host/babymaker/swf/workshop_295_msPlayer.swf?doorId=295&clientId=164&mId=30013481.1&ds=http%3A%2F%2Fhost-d.oddcast.com" base="host-d.oddcast.com" scale="noborder" salign="t" bgcolor="#FFFFFF" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/shockwave/download/index.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash" height="321" width="445" /></object></div><div style="position: relative; height: 36px; width: 445px;"><img alt="Create Your Own" src="http://host-d.oddcast.com/babymaker/images/footer_01.gif" style="position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; border: none;"/><a href="http://www.vw.com/vwhype/babymaker/en/us/" target="_blank" style="position: absolute; top: 0; left: 220px;"><img alt="Make a Routan Baby" src="http://host-d.oddcast.com/babymaker/images/footer_02.gif" style="border: none;"/></a></div></div>
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I thought I saved this months ago! [28 Apr 2009|03:32am]

Mustard Egg salad with chives and brioche
6 Hard boiled eggs
6 t mayo
2 t Dijon mustard
2 t minced sweet onion
2 t minced celery
2 t chopped Chive
1/2 t sugar
1 t white balsamic vinegar
1 pinch cayenne pepper
Salt and pepper

Method: small dice hard boiled eggs. Add all other items and mix by hand. Server egg salad with toasted brioche, sliced heirloom tomatoes and sliced hard boiled eggs. Garnish with chive sticks

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[23 Jan 2009|10:42pm]
Paranoid Disorder:High
Schizoid Disorder:Low
Schizotypal Disorder:High
Antisocial Disorder:Moderate
Borderline Disorder:Very High
Histrionic Disorder:Moderate
Narcissistic Disorder:Low
Avoidant Disorder:High
Dependent Disorder:Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:High

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --
-- Personality Disorders --

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It only takes a raindrop to create a ripple. [05 Jan 2009|09:51pm]
Wait, before you hang up the phone
Listen to reason I'll show you I'm trying to change
I'm trying to change
And I'm so scared, what do you think of me now?
What do you think of me?

No more lies I swear
No more words I haven't been fair
Give me a chance to clear my name
Through the years I love you the same

Feed the meter, I'll stay all night
Give me some clothes I won't ever go home
If that's alright

Let's run behind the music, fall onto my couch
Where blankets tickle naked bodies, rolling around

Baby I'm sorry, for pushing you away
Baby I'm sorry, is all that I can say
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Aparently, Tickle says I'm left-brained. [25 Nov 2008|12:14am]


Most left-brained people like you feel at ease in situations requiring verbal ability, attention to detail, and linear, analytical ability. Whether you know it or not, you are a much stronger written communicator than many, able to get your ideas across better than others.

It's also likely that you are methodical and efficient at many things that you do. You could also be good at math, particularly algebra, which is based on very strict rules that make sense to your logical mind.

2 found god | check the details

Because I'm bored, my head hurts, and I was watching Degrassi today... [07 Nov 2008|10:53pm]
[ mood | tired ]

<a href="http://www.the-n.com/quizzes/quiz/3365"><img src="http://www.the-n.com/media/quiz/badges/coffee_quiz/bc.gif" border="0" /></a>

<a href="http://www.the-n.com/quizzes/quiz/3422"><img src="http://www.the-n.com/media/quiz/badges/weather_quiz/partlycloudy.gif" border="0" /></a>

<a href="http://www.the-n.com/quizzes/quiz/1492"><img src="http://www.the-n.com/media/quiz/badges/howdegrassi_quiz/medium.gif" border="0" /></a>

<a href="http://www.the-n.com/quizzes/quiz/3416"><img src="http://www.the-n.com/media/quiz/badges/hallcandy_quiz/pumpkin.gif" border="0" /></a>

<a href="http://www.the-n.com/quizzes/quiz/2783"><img src="http://www.the-n.com/media/quiz/badges/which_degrassi/jane.gif" border="0" /></a>

<a href="http://www.the-n.com/quizzes/quiz/3396"><img src="http://www.the-n.com/media/quiz/badges/whatif_quiz/craig.gif" border="0" /></a>

<a href="http://www.the-n.com/quizzes/quiz/2777"><img src="http://www.the-n.com/media/quiz/badges/degrassi_bff/peter.gif" border="0" /></a>

<a href="http://www.the-n.com/quizzes/quiz/3407"><img src="http://www.the-n.com/media/quiz/badges/degrassicrush_quiz/kc.gif" border="0" /></a>

<a href="http://www.the-n.com/quizzes/quiz/3371"><img src="http://www.the-n.com/media/quiz/badges/70schar_quiz/donna.gif" border="0" /></a>

<a href="http://www.the-n.com/quizzes/quiz/3406"><img src="http://www.the-n.com/media/quiz/badges/summerfood_quiz/sc.gif" border="0" /></a>

<a href="http://www.the-n.com/quizzes/quiz/3243"><img src="http://www.the-n.com/media/quiz/badges/flavor_quiz/vanilla.gif" border="0" /></a>

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[01 Oct 2008|07:19pm]

http://www. youtube. com/watch?v=olpCyDA4kYA&eurl=http://thevibe. socialvibe. com/index. php/2008/10/01/leo-tobey-seth-ellen-declare-yourself-hollywood-tell-you-not-to-vote-why/iurl=http://i4. ytimg. com/vi/olpCyDA4kYA/default. jpg

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[06 Sep 2008|11:25am]
You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum
Pumpy-umpy-umpkin, You're my Sweetie Pie
You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop
Snoogums-Boogums, You're the Apple of my Eye
And I love you so and I want you to know
That I'll always be right here
And I love to sing sweet songs to you
Because you are so dear
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